Do you sometimes get the feeling that today is one of these days when I really don’t want to do anything. Or you question yourself that, are you even doing the right thing in your life? Will the things work out for you as you wish? Are you feeling low sometimes? Well, I do.
When I do, I often get the second feeling that this is absolutely unacceptable. In order to be successful (which is always in my mind) I should be doing so many things. When I procrastinate, I feel bad about it. I feel like being lazy and this way I won’t get to anywhere. This is my negative self-talk. But then again I have to remind myself that this is completely ok – to feel low.
We are human beings and this is not normal to be in the expanded state all the time. Expanded stateis when we are open to new ideas, ready to conquer, have lot’s of communication with people, execute and but massive action into our goals etc. No one is like that 100% of the time. We all have our low days.
I think it’s in our society with all the social media. We all want to show our friends and family that we are doing well, we are always on the right track and have perfect relationships and that we are successful in things we do. If you think about it then you see only positive things from your friends and family. How they are finishing schools, have success in work, finish projects, close a big deal, bought a new car, or have perfect family vacation. And then it comes as a surprise when you actually talk with your friends and they are complaining about things in their life, although for you their life looks so perfect in social media. It’s because no one is posting about low times in their lives. Everyone want to be perfect, but is it really good for us? I don ‘t thinks so.
Why is it good to be feeling low?
Feeling low is actually contraction state. It’s a state when you would like to be alone, you don’t “feel like it”, you might have pain or you are angry at something, etc. It’s complete opposite for the expansion state.
The good thing about contraction state is that, it is when we learn something, or it is the possibility for us to be with ourselves for the moment. For me it is usually an opportunity to revaluate my priorities and really get back to the things that are important to me. Sometimes in contraction state I have the opportunity to calculate the most important things for me and make decisions in favour of my passions for example. It’s like a restart for me.
There was a time when I didn’t know about it and I bushed myself to be in the expanded stated all the time. But my organism let me know that it is not normal to “keep going” all the time and the way my organism did it, was by getting sick. Believe me if I say, my sicknesses weren’t easy. In fact my partner always asked, are you sure you’re going to survive? With illness my body said to me that it is crucial to take the time off and revaluate my priorities. These days I’m much smarter. I have learned to listen myself and recognise when Im in the contraction state and need to take some time off.
How to deal with contraction state?
When ever you are feeling low (you are in a contraction state), there is a formula that helps you deal with it:
It’s good to recognise that you are in this state right now and need some time for yourself to deal with it. Sometimes it takes longer (for days), sometimes less.
Just breathe in, try to be calm and listen to yourself.
3. Ask to be open
Ask yourself to be open for expanded state again and listen what your inner-self tells you.
4. Go into the feeling
Well that says it all, what is the feeling you are feeling?
5. Feel the body
If you have pain somewhere, go into the pain and try to understand it. Feel the pain and let it go.
6. Use the tools
There are several kind of tools that help you relax and be with yourself in that state. Using the tools helps to feel better and get back to the expansion state sooner again. The tools are different for each individual. For me writing, drawing, daydreaming, running or walking in the nature helps. Being by the sea, meditating, journaling etc helps as well. It is really time when I need to be by myself.
7. Communicate clearly
For others to understand you, try to stay calm, be loving and explain to others that you where in the contraction state and needed some time to be with yourself. Maybe you had a misunderstanding with your partner and it got out of control. Explain to your partner that you where in contraction state and thats why you reacted this way. Try to come up with the solution or lovingly talk how that made you feel.